That's Funny

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Comment by HeavyMetal1971 12 hours ago

Little Known Christmas Fact

Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.

Four of his elves were sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the he kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?"

And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.

Comment by HeavyMetal1971 on December 8, 2009 at 2:31pm

Comment by HeavyMetal1971 on December 8, 2009 at 2:30pm

Comment by Charlie Barbaglia on December 3, 2009 at 6:24pm

got a XMAS card from Tiger Woods

Comment by Charlie Barbaglia on November 25, 2009 at 9:35pm

now this is funny

Comment by 71 Charger on November 7, 2009 at 7:59am

Comment by 71 Charger on October 28, 2009 at 6:31am

WHO'S IN CHARGE

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach,"Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs , "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum , "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, thestomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, theeyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss..
..
The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work...

The asshole is usually in charge

Comment by HeavyMetal1971 on October 26, 2009 at 11:12am

For all those who are trying to get over their day! (;

Comment by 71 Charger on September 30, 2009 at 10:39am

Comment by 71 Charger on September 30, 2009 at 10:32am